canada songfics
by Teakany
Summary: a collection of oneshot song fics I'm working on for canada. current pairings: AmeCan, NedCan, PruCan, Franada, DenCan, ScotCan, FACE character death, fluff, angst etc. bunch of stuff really
1. amecan begin again

begin again- taylor swift

Madeline stood in front of her mirror. she wore a knee length sundress, it was white with yellow stripes. on her feet were a pair of yellow high heels. she cringed. Arthur hated when she wore heels. He had complained it made her look to lanky, and made him feel short. She loved the way she looked in heels, more elegant and long.

She gave her head a shake. It didn't matter what Arthur thought anymore, he left almost a year ago. Today she was going on a first date. She had met Alfred at the grocery store and after chatting over cereal he had asked her to get a coffee. Madeline was hesitant at the time, She hadn't been out since Arthur. not that she didn't get asked, she just wasn't ready. But alfred's sweet boyish smile had won her over.

She nodded to her reflection and turned to the door. she fiddled with her phone finding a good song to calm her. she selected her favourite as she locked the door. she popped in her headphones and smiled. She hadn't heard this song in so long, Arthur had hated it, saying it made no sense. It made perfect sense to Madeline.

The cafe they were meeting at wasn't far, only a block away from her apartment. she got there just as the song ended, she had taken her time, Alfred had texted saying he might be late, work was hectic. So when she walked through the door to see him standing and smiling at her she jumped and squeaked. her hands went to her face and she blushed as he beemed. he walked around and pulled out her chair waiting for her to sit. she blushed and muttered a thank you.

It was easy to talk to him. was such a charming person, easy to get along with. His somewhat loud personality countered her quiet one well.

She was so surprised when she made him laugh. not just a chuckle either, he had laughed until his face was red, just like a little kid, his head thrown back. Arthur never laughed at her jokes. at best she'd get a small smile and a roll of his eyes. it made her blush and smile all at the same time. her heart fluttered.

they talked about music and found out they both liked a lot of the same artists. he had exclaimed that she had amazing taste, she blushed

He asked about her life, she told a few stories about hockey games she'd been too "no way! you like sports!"

then about the video games she enjoyed "and video games! oh god!"

eventually admitting her love of hamburgers and pancakes despite her tiny frame. "okay! jury is out, you are officially to coolest girl ever!"

she turned bright red and her eyes fell to the table, he then added "not to mention adorable" and she hid her face. she peeked between her fingers and saw a confused smile. he chuckled and reached across to move her hands "don't hide, I like to see your smile"

His big blue eyes held her violet ones and she couldn't look away.

The rest of the date went well. they chatted and laughed. after they finished he slowly walked her back to her apartment. Madeline was about to mention that she had never had so much fun with Arthur when alfred started talking. He was talking about horror movies. "I love watching them, but I just can't do it alone! so usually I watch them with my brother. he always makes fun of me, but I make fun of his cooking, so it's all in good fun." she giggled and asked him about which ones, they discuss the merits of different movies the rest the way to her apartment building.

they stand in front of the doors and smile at each other exchanging goodbyes. Madeline blushes and places a kiss on Alfreds cheek "thank you… I had a great time."

it was his turn to blush as he smiled warmly at her "I did too Maddie, I'll call you tomorrow?"

"okay"

She went inside, climbing the stairs to her apartment. once she was inside she leaned against the wall and smiled to herself. Maybe it didn't have to all be fighting, heartache and endings… Maybe this could be a beginning of something better. maybe she could begin again.


	2. comeback be here nedcan

come back be here -taylor swift

Lars stood at the airport gate with the shorter blonde. it felt kind of awkward. The visit had been just a few days, a trip with his boss to discuss relations between the two countries. now they were standing at the airport and he was going back to canada. he wasn't completely sure why he was feeling sad. Canada was a good friend, ever since WWII when he had pretty much saved the Netherlands. driving out germany and helping to save his people from starvation that had come along with the war. He had always expected to be indebted to the country who had given germany nightmares, but he hadn't expected to find such a warm and friendly person.

They said an awkward goodbye. a handshake, even a small kiss on the cheek that left a blush. a smaller smile from Matthew.. but something else in his eyes as he said goodbye.. disapointment? no… Lars was unprepared for the squeeze in his chest as he watched the young nations back disappear into the gate, the last passenger to board the plane. he shook his head trying to rid the unfamiliar feeling.

He lit a cigarette as he walked out of the sliding airport doors and towards his car. his head turned up slightly watching the plane take off. his breath caught and he coughed. again he shook his head while he climbed into the drivers seat and took off home.

He arrived at his house and sighed. placing his shoes and coat in their proper place he went to the kitchen. still spotless. He never used it, but it had been used the past few days. He smiled at the stove and thought back. The violet eyes boy had been standing there the morning before making pancakes

"oh! you're awake! I hope you don't mind… I thought I'd make us breakfast. Kumagigi was hungry and he tends to get bitey if i don't feed him quickly"

"enough talk. more cook" came the grumpy voice of the small white polar bear.

"uh… no that's fine" Lars had replied. not like he could stop what was already happening. he had sat at the counter and just watched as the golden blonde nation hummed to himself as he cooked. Breakfast had been delicious.

Lars frowned. that feeling in his chest again… like there was a hole.. he turned away from the kitchen and muttered. he was irritated. he walked towards a cabinet in his living room and took out his pipe, opening the drawer he withdrew his stash and a lighter. he sat on his couch and lit up, inhaling deeply. whatever he was feeling would numb with this. his eyes slid next to him and another memory came unbidden

Matthew had sat beside him, eyes red and a dopey smile on his face as he passed the blunt back. "this is good stuff" he groaned appreciatively.

Lars had raised an eyebrow, his own face more relaxed the normal. "I didn't know you were so big on pot over there. isn't it illegal?"

A blush rushed to his face. It was cute. "well… yeah… but ya know… Bc bud" he shrugged.

Lars chuckled "guess I just begged you for more of a goody good"

an eyebrow cocked up over those violet and red eyes " you don't know me at all." he laughed.

The spot was empty now.. no one to pass the pipe too… he… did he miss him? Lars was use to being alone. He didn't miss anyone ever. Okay maybe his rabbits sometimes… not that he'd ever admit it. shit.. what did he feel for the other nation? this was kind of new to him…. he sat back and groaned.

Ideally he thought of the blonde who was headed home… wait… he wasn't headed home was he? He had mentioned having to head over to new york for some meeting with his brother. He got slightly annoyed at the name.. New York… It use to be New Amsterdam, that was a much better name. so he was going to be in america… Lars had never felt the desire to visit but he was suddenly filled with one.

He wished he had asked the boy to stay longer… Maybe.. Maybe he could go visit canada? his meeting shouldn't take more than a few days right? Lars pulled out his cellphone and sent a text to the nations government. there was no point in trying to call him personally, he was still on a plane. He was informed that Canada wouldn't be returning home for a few weeks, after his meeting with his brother, he was set to visit his former guardian england.

Lars leaned hung up the phone and stood. this sucked. his chest ached through the cloud of the high he was on. He wandered up the stairs and into the guest room. it was filled with the scent of snow and maple syrup. he inhaled deeply, quietly thankful he hadn't cleaned this room yet. it was a comforting smell…

He walked to the bed and sat down where he was struck by another unfamiliar feeling. He looked at the empty bed. he suddenly wished for nothing else then for it to be occupied by Matthew. to lay down next to him and draw him against his chest, inhaling the smell of his hair. his lips tingled thinking of how they had brushed the small nations cheek in a friendly manner he raised a finger to touch them and there was a small twitch at the corner of his lips. he wish they could be a little more than friendly. He groaned and fell back, the scent enveloping him more. He wasn't fond of missing someone.

two weeks huh? he could wait.

He couldn't wait. this was hell.

It was only ten days later and he was cursing himself. he had gotten in his car that morning and driven down to the fairy. now he was leaning against the railing, drawing a drag off the cigarette that hung out of his mouth. he had been moody the whole past week. his boss was concerned, the usually stoic nation was emotional. It had taken his sister Bella to draw it out of him.

"you love him" she declared

"what? I don't love anyone."

"you love him, don't you try and lie to me brother. for gods sake you send the boy flowers every year! for how long now?" her arms crossed over her chest

he looked down and fiddled with his scarf "70 years…"

"honestly, you go there every year for that festival, it's the only time you seem to smile, I'm shocked it's taken you this long to figure it out" she rolled her eyes "you're such a moron"

She had then promptly kicked his ass out of his own house and sent him off london.

what was he even suppose to say? 'Hey, so I kinda realized I'm in love with you, so come back and stay longer, in fact, maybe just never leave again!' pfft… yeah… how could he have fallen in love with someone an ocean away? it was some cruel twist of fate. how long had he felt like this? he thought back. He rarely smiled, it just wasn't in his nature… but for the past 60 years he always had one for the shy sweet nation. He would start looking forward to his yearly visit for the festival earlier and earlier.. oh god.. had it really been so long? Bella was right, he was a moron.

He finally made it to london and pulled up in front of England's house. suddenly he was nervous and excited all at once. Matthew was in there, he would get to see the golden hair, the violet eyes, smell the maple syrup and snow that had faded from the still uncleaned guest room. but what if he was rejected? how could he even face the nation next month when the festival was happening? he took out his phone and dialed his sister

"I can't do this I'm going home."

"I've locked you out. you're not coming back until you've talked to him"

"Damnit Bella! that is my house!"

"And I'm your sister! you've been in a rotten mood and the only way you're gonna snap out of it is by seeing him! give him the damn flowers you bought, don't glare at him like you usually do and tell him! It'll be fine ya big baby!"

the phone clicked. damnit.

He sighed and looked towards the red tulips next to him, four colours in the bunch. Yellow, there's sunshine in your smile. Orange, Enthusiasm and passion. Red, a declaration of love and cream… I will love you forever. His stomach was in knots. The Canadian would understand the colours. He remembered him talking about being fascinated by the subject of flower language. Well.. it was now or never.

His heart pounded in his chest as he knocked on the door. oh god! what if england answered! shit shit shit… should he run? he should run! He was about to turn around when the door opened and he was met with large violet eyes and a warm smile. "Oh! Hi lars! I didn't expect to see you till next month! are you here to see Arthur?" he saw the flowers and his smile dropped slightly

"n-no! I… I.. here! " he turned his head away and pulled his scarf up to cover his reddening face. his hand thrust the flowers out for the Canadian.

"a-are these for… m-me?" came the quiet shaky voice as he felt the flowers being lifted from his hand.

"y-yeah…" he murmured into his scarf

"th-thank-"

"I missed you!" he blurted out and cringed realizing he had interrupted.

"m-me?"

he turned to look at the Canadian. he was bright red and looked truly bewildered. crap, this wasn't going well. Lars shoulders slumps and his face fell. his eyes turned down.

"yeah… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.. I.. fuck… I'm sorry i shouldn't of" He was turning when a hand caught his sleeve.

"w-wait Lars! I… I love them… b-but why?"

Lars turned with a half smile, cheeks bright red. " I thought you knew floriography…"

The red on the blondes face intensified and spread, a small careful smile on his lips as he looked towards the tall dutchman. "d-does that mean…."

"come back with me? stay?" the words left his mouth before he realized. he blushed again and looked away

Lars sighed, there really was no turning back now. he would either be rejected or accepted and really, he wasn't going to be able to deal until he knew… "I love you."

A large smile broke out on the younger nations face. "I-I... " he blushed but violet eyes never left green ones. "I love you too"

shock spread across Lar's face, trying to register the words.

"And I would love to stay with you". arms circled his neck and pulled him down. soft pale lips brushed against his. he wrapped his arms around the smaller mans waist returning the kiss and smiling.


	3. over you PruCan

Over you

he's sitting in the living room staring out the window when he speaks.

"the weather channel says it's gonna snow again… you would think I'd be use to the cold by now eh?"

there's no answer. there's no one too answer.. eyes slip over to the plastic christmas tree that still stands. he hadn't taken it down. It was the middle of february, he really should but Matthew just couldn't bring himself to take down the last memories, he was scared he would forget

Matthew smiled as he handed Gilbert his present. he had been so excited when he found the wrapping paper, it was easter themed, but covered in little yellow birds. it got the desired "hey this is awesome! thank you birdie!"

Matthew chucked "just open it!"

He watched with amusment as the present was unwrapped. it didn't matter what was inside. only the way Gilbert had glowed with happiness in that moment. the way the christmas lights sparkled in his eyes, the happiness and laughter that filled the living room.

but he went away.

Matthew curled in on himself "I miss you…"

Everyone was insisting he'd be okay. he'd move one. Time heals all wounds. Matthew wasn't so sure he was ever going to get over Gilbert.

Being alone in this big house was hard. Every room echoed memories. Pancakes in the mornings, stormy sundays spent curled up on the couch, long nights together in the bedroom. It hurts, but remembering makes him less scared…

Matt put on a record Gilbert had left unintentionally. He sat on the floor and smiled remembering the albinos voice filling the house with renditions of the old german songs. curling up on his spot on the floor he fell asleep. he still couldn't sleep in the bed.

people kept trying to drag him out of the house. come have coffee, come to dinner, lets see a movie! but he couldn't… Gilbert left… he wasn't coming back… Matthew was angry.

"how dare you fucking leave me alone Gilbert Beilschmidt! I miss you…. You said you would stay with me forever! You promised…."

Tears choked him. he replied to the newest text about grabbing a cuppa.

'no thanks'

He stood in the backyard by the large maple tree. His eyes were glued to the ground. he knew he wasn't coming back… but how could he ever get over him? he stared down at the polished head stone holding Gilberts name. no… he could never come back.

Matthew kneels in front of the grave tears stinging his eyes "why did you have to leave? Why'd you have to get in that stupid car? I told you it was too icy…. You never listen… I'm not going to ever get over you.."


	4. Dear Diamond franada

dear diamond

He smiles at me like I'm something precious. Like I've hung the star and the moon in the sky. He's never mistreated me. he's always listened. his blue eyes crinkle in a smile, the wavy blonde hair touching his shoulders, his lips brush mine in welcome before he breezes back to the kitchen to make dinner

My eyes drop to the diamond on my left hand. Guilt bubbles…. I made a promise that day, I told him I do and I've broken it. But he doesn't know it. He still thinks I'm the sweetest most innocent girl in the entire world. his ange, his petite cherie...

It eats at me..

should I tell him? should I tell him that two nights ago, when i claimed I had fallen asleep at a friends house I was really in someone elses arms? those big strong arms of a man I'm not married too. where I laid my head against the pale skin on his shoulder, his fingers brushing through my tangled golden curls. All after so many whispers of his name, Ivan, had fallen off my lips.

I don't love him. he was just something I wanted briefly. He means nothing to me… but it would kill Francis… He spent so much on these band, he put so much trust in me and I've gone and crushed it all. I went back on exactly what I promised.

But he doesn't know.

I excuse myself to get changed. I grab some comfortable sweat pants and a shirt, discarding the coffee covered uniform. on the floor. I sit on the bed and look down on the ring again. tears spring to my eyes. I'm so ashamed of myself.

would it be more selfish to keep it to myself or tell him?

I keep it too myself. I won't destroy his beautiful smile. I'd rather suffer the guilt. I argue it's for him… but I know deep down, it would hurt more to lose the way he looks at me, the way he holds me, the way he whispers that I'm the best thing that happened to him.

I will be the devil, I will lie, and I will hate myself every second.


	5. just a dream AmeCan

**Amelia and Matthew. It's sad. you've been warned. I cried. **

Amelia smooth out her dress, it was beautiful. tea length to show off her calves, high cut lace at the front with a plunging back, pure white. her hair was already gathered in a high bun on her head when she placed the veil. Mattie had loved it when he accidentally walk in on her trying it on a few months ago. a big smile had spread across his face

"you look so beautiful darling"

she closed her eyes and pictured him. they hadn't reached the day yet, but she could so clearly picture him. a black tuxedo, standing up at the end of the aisle. that gentle smile so full of love he always had for her. his hair would be gathered into a tie so It didn't hide his face, she wanted to be able to see every inch of that blush she knew would colour the pale skin.

but she wasn't going to see that blush tonight. she removed the veil and set it back in the box, changing out of her beautiful white dress in favour of a simple black one. a small black veil in the place the white one had just occupied.

she grabbed the box of the letters he had sent for her from her bed. her fingers tracing it gently. she had been upset, but proud when he had enlisted. he was fighting for peace, something he believed in so strongly. these would keep her company.

when she climbed into the car the box was set on the passenger side. she cast a look and longed to see him there. he had promised to come back and then they would have forever.

She pulled up at the church and took a deep breath. the sea of black moving from the cars. she could feel tears prickle at her eyes, she grabbed the single red flower and exited the car pulling her veil down to hide the tears that were now threatening to overflow.

something rattled in her shoe. she looked down and saw blue shoes… she had forgotten the change out of her wedding shoes… the sixpence was still inside. she almost laughed through tears… the sixpence, blue shoes… even her veil was borrowed..

she walked up the aisle as the trumpets began playing and looked up. the casket sat at the end of the isle. her hands dropped to her sides as she numbly walked forward pushing past everyone else in the line., they didn't matter, she couldn't see any of them, they weren't really there for her. the flower dropped out of her weak fingers as she reached the open lid.

there he laid, in his tuxedo. his hair pulled back so she could see all of his beautiful face. she lost it. sinking to her knees in from she gripped the side and sobbed "why Mattie.. why did you leave? if you had stayed… you said forever… you promised me. " she couldn't breathe she tried to suck air in between ripping sobs "please, this can't be happening to me.. please tell me this is just a dream?" . warm hands were on her shoulder as her father help lift her to her feet. he gathered her against his chest and walked to their seats in the front.

the preacher stood in front of everyone "let us bow our heads and pray, lord please bless his soul, and heal this hurt…" she blanked the rest out shaking no.. it's a dream.. none of this is real.. they're lying he's coming home he is! they were getting married tomorrow… a song filled her ears and she closed her eyes to listen. It was the saddest song she would ever hear.

she didn't remember the trip to the graveyard, she didn't remember when the tears and sobbing stopped. she stood numbly as they lowered the now closed casket into the ground. that wasn't her mattie in there.. it wasn't. this is a dream.. she was going to wake up and he'd be right there to hold her.

She was numb when the red and white folded flag was pressed into her outstretched arms. the soldier in front of her muttered his condolences. a single tear ran down her cheek as she stared forward at nothing, scared to look anywhere. especially at the folded material she now clasped tight in her arms. the guns shot, and every shot she flinched, burying her face in the flag she clung to. she could swear she felt every single bullet bury into her heart. she closed her eyes tight and slid down to the ground once more. "this is just a dream. Wake me up Mattie… This is just a dream.. I want to wake up now."

"I'm sorry love" her father sat on the ground beside her and wrapped his arms around her, he whispered softly. " I'm sorry Amelia, he's not coming home".


	6. hero AmeCan

**I wanted fluff.. so i wrote fluff**

Alfred was in the kitchen finishing up dinner when he heard the door close. he smiled and walked into the living room "welcome home Matt- " his face dropped. He had known Matthew long enough to know It had been a bad day. not just a 'I'm bitchy because I've had a bad day so don't piss me off or I'll yell till someone cries' bad day… those were scary, though thankfully rare. no, It was a 'my day was so bad I'm going to lock myself in the bedroom and cry' kind of day. The american knew he needed to act fast or he was going to be sitting in front of a piece of wood begging for the door to be unlocked while listening to the heart wrenching sobs.

Tears were already on Matthews cheeks. Alfred walked to him and instantly put his arms around the smaller man. "come on Mattie, lets sit…" a nod and a whimper was all he got in return.

he sat him on the couch and the golden curl covered head instantly buried his head against his shoulder. The smaller man shaking with silent crying. "shhhhh Mattie it's okay... " he pulled out his phone with one hand while the other rubbed up and down his husbands back. a few clicks and a familiar tune, the one that had been played at their wedding, started playing. he placed it down and whispered along with the words

"Let me be your hero"

Matt laughed once through his crying. Alfred stood and grabbed his hand "would you dance if I asked you to dance?" he pulled him up and wrapped him close "would you run and never look back?"

Matt's weak voice came muffled "would you cry, if you saw me crying? "

Alfred leaned down and kissed the top of his head and whispered "would you save my soul tonight?"

he pulled Matthews face up and brushed his thumb across his lower lip "would you tremble if I touched your lips? would you laugh? oh please tell me this?"

as if on cue he got a small chuckle and a small smile broke out, Al pressed his forehead to his loves and adjusted the next line "I would die, for the one I love"

Matt muttered "hold me in your arms tonight."

Alfred smiled wider and lead him dancing around the room. "I can be your hero baby, I can kiss away the pain" he leaned down and brushed a kiss on the salty lips.

"I will stand by you forever," Matt's voice was a little louder now "you can take my breath away"

"would you swear that you'll always be mine?" Matt sung smiling now. Alfred nodded, The violet eyed dancer now gave a mock look of fear "would you lie? would you run and hide?"

Alfred shook his head, then dramatically threw a hand to his forehead. he practically yelled "Am I in too deep? Have I lost my mind?!"

Matthew was singing through laughter now " I don't care" he held the taller blondes face in his hands "you're here tonight"

They kissed. Alfred bent his knees slightly and pulled his arms tightly around the younger mans waist, he straightened his legs and lifted Matthew off the floor. It broke the kiss and the sounds of laughter filled the room. the lyrics were background noise now. Violet eyes looked down from their new found height into sparkling blue ones. Alfred flashed a giant boyish smile "I can be your hero Mattie"

Mattie giggled and his eyelids half lowered as he ducked his head and muttered "you can take my breath away Alfred" against soft lips before they connected.

Dinner went untouched.

**now for the twist! when I wrote this, I thought of Al and Matt right in between "everything is good" and "until It's not" so If you've read Until it's not, Al's adjustment to the song for that line, May sting. **


	7. hear me DenCan

**AphHetaliaLover requested I write a DenCan songfic and a few others, so here is my first attempt at writing Denmark in a prolonged way (he is a secondary character in The call of organic maple)! please don't use a gigantic axe on me if i got him wrong :(. enjoy! the song is "hear me" by kelly clarkson**

Vinland stood on the cold shores and watched the strange visitors disappear. at first he had hid from them, watched from behind trees. one day the tallest of the group had called out

"you can come out little one… we won't hurt you"

He had come forth hesitantly, large violet eyes timid.

"there you are! I was wondering when you'd join us! Tell me little one, do you have a name?"

The boy shook his head. he felt different then the people here… he was… like him?

"well," the tall blonde with icy blue eyes smiled "we'll shall just have to call you Vinland. is that alright?"

the newly named Vinland smiled and ran over to the tall blonde. he wrapped tiny arms around one leg. he looked up brightly and nodded.

they had stayed only a while, but had promised to return to with more people for the land. Matt didn't stray far from the shores… he wanted so long… but the long boats didn't return. he was so lonely… He was surrounded by his tribes, but none of them had held the same similar warmth the man who had come had.

his tiny feet padded too the shore once again, mothers of the tribe watched sadly. they had grown from babies into mothers and grandmothers all while the small blonde boy had stayed a baby, they had watched him over a life time running to that shore to check… no one was ever there.

"Please! can you hear me! I'm ready for you now! Please hear me!"

Matthew woke with a startle. he sat straight up the last syllables hanging off his lips, a tear running down his face. he panted and swallowed. The dream kept coming back… for a long time it had faded. his time with Francis and Arthur,when he had been renamed, had almost completely gotten rid of it, . that was until a few months ago.

He had been at a meeting the dream had come out of no where, like it sometimes did, except this time it was fresh in his mind as he walked into the meeting room. that smile… those icy eyes.. his heart skipped a beat and he froze. it could be… could it? He had wanted to approach the nordic nation and inquire further… but they had been in a hurry when they left.

He had gone over it so many times, he was sure it was him. but why did he want to talk to him so badly? what did it matter… that was so long ago… the ice blue eyes popped into his mind and his heart ached. did he… did he love him? He had certainly been attracted to Denmark from their brief meetings over hans island. if they weren't fighting over it, he probably would have wanted to try and be a little more than friends… but love? he was confused.

Now it was a new month, a new meeting and Matthew was determined. also terrified. Denmark was tall, loud, and half the time he carried that gigantic axe. during their meeting their bosses had been there, so he wasn't so intimidating. though… he seemed good natured. He seemed to talk a lot to Netherlands, and Matt knew he looked scary, but really was rather nice, one of his closest friends in fact!

Matthew walked down the halls toward the board room. he was going to do this! right after the meeting he would find him and- he pushed open the door and almost fainted. the Nordics were early?!

"h-hello…."

norway was the only to hear. the violet eyes raised and looked "hello"

the other nordics paused at the greeting confused. they followed his gaze and suddenly all eyes were on him.

"Canadia!" said denmark loudly

he cringed, "actually… it's canada…" he paused for a second. "Denmark… I was wondering if I could get a word actually…"

his head tilted to one side in a "huh" fashion, but he took long steps towards the Canadian nation. they walked out into the hall "Whats up? oh god this isn't about Hans island again is it?!"

Canada put his hands up "no no!" damn… his papers dropped.

he ducked quickly to gather them and found himself face to face with Denmark who had also dropped down to his knees to help. The older nation smiled and handed him the files Canada was blushing, their faces were only inches apart. those familiar blue eyes that filled his dream and turned his world upside down. he needed him to know… he needed him to hear him!

Matthew didn't really think about it, but he grabbed the ashen blondes sleeve to stop him from moving away. Blue eyes opened in surprise. Canada didn't know what to say, oh god.. but that smell.. those eyes… the confused smile on his lips.

suddenly he leaned forward dropping papers again as he pressed his lips to the other nations. he was surprised when he felt it being returned. even more so when he felt the hand in his hair. an arm pulled him closer and they were somehow chest to chest. warmth growing between the two cold nations, the need to breath arose and they parted. both eyes twinned in surprise.

"uhm… that was.." Denmark started but Matt's actions made him pause again he buried his head against the taller nation as he had once before so long ago. he was embarrassed and shaking. the now completely bewildered nation put his arms gingerly around the smaller one and patted his back

"my name... " matt started "My name use to be vinland."

the hands froze on his back

"you didn't come back… I waited.. I waited so long.. I called out… I sung myself to sleep with the songs you taught me… please… find me again.. I was so lonely… I still call for you… I call every night please...:"

he knew it was pathetic… he was so embarrassed. the silence of the older nation brought tears to his violet eyes. this was the most idiot this he'd done. he was going to go find cuba and talk loudly about commies and hamburgers until he couldn't feel his face. he went to pull away only to feel strong arms hold him in place, one hand moved to his chin, tilting his face up. blue eyes searched his violet ones with something in them… hope? a smile spread across the Danes face, then softened.

"I dreamt of you too my little Vinland"

their lips met once again emotions running rampant… finally he heard him.. the blue eyes from his dreams were right here and he felt safe and loved in the strong arms circling him.


	8. Face Down ScotCan

**Another of the ****requested couplings! ScotCan. requested by AphHetaliaLover. I've also not done much with scotland, though he's one of my favourite characters and I think this pairing is super sweet! the song is "Face Down" by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.****it use to be one of my favourite songs, so I'm not surprised****it wiggled into this series. enjoy!**

Alistair leaned against the bathroom doorway, a cigarette hung from his lips as he frowned. His green eyes held irritation as he watched the girl in front of him.

there she was again, sweet little Madeline, she was still shaking as delicate fingers dabbed at her face gingerly. her golden hair had been half ripped out of the ties that usually held it, her face was covered in dark smudges mixed with running makeup and her outfit was covered in mud. she looked up at the scot in the mirror and smiled a small smile, her lips quivering "It doesn't hurt, I'm okay

he grunted in response. She tried to hide his cringe as he wiped the blood away from her split lip. had she bitten it? or was it a rock this time? the dirt and blood gone, she still looked a mess. a black eye, swollen jaw, some green and yellow shadows still left over from last time. "really Alistair, I'm okay." she smeared makeup over the bruises.

the tall redhead sighed pushing off the door " if ya say so lass…"

he walked down the hall and cringed as he heard a muffled sob from the bathroom.

he turned into the kitchen and regarded his brother who was wiping his hands on a towel. "you don't deserve that girl ya know. you keep doing this and she'd gonna leave and I'll be helpin her go." it earned him a glare

"it's my right to do with her as I please. " he said simply turning back to leave.

"do you even love the lass?"

there was silence hanging in the air until finally "yes"

"one day it's all going to crumble you know… she's not going to believe that lie anymore" arthur didn't react, simply left the kitchen

Alistair bit back his rage. he knew tonight his door would open, she would creep in looking for love and comfort, and he would gladly give it. laying soft kisses on her hair and face as she cried.

It was a peaceful day. Alistair took a drag of his smoke as he leaned lazily on the window pane looking at the garden below. then the screaming broke the silence.

He ran down the hall towards it, Arthurs study. no surprise. he flung the door open in time to watch his brother throw the small girl against the bookshelf. books tumbled and fell on her as she curled into herself.

"Arthur!" he took long steps across the room and grabbed the mans arm whirling him around, the hands shifted to his collar . both faces were red and contorted in anger. "Do you feel like a man yet boy?! Does it make you feel better about her brother leaving you now that she's down there a shakin' mess?! "

a look of anger shock entered the brits face "What the bloody hell are you talking about!?"

"don't bullshit me Arthur! I see right through it! she looks like him! hell she looks like both Alfred and Francis and you take it out on her because you can't hit them!" he smelled the breath between them and shoved the shorter man away "you're not even damned drunk this time you shit! now you do this when your sober to?! disgusting little-"

"It's okay… It doesn't hurt.. I'm okay…" came the tiny voice. she was picking herself up off the floor. "I… I need to go make lunch" the tears were already pooling in her eyes as she limped past them.

arthurs eyes glared at the floor. Alistair watched her go and then turned his cold green eyes to his brother "you listen to me Arthur kirkland, everything you do is gonna have consequences, god's only know why that lass is loyal to you. she shoulda joined her brother and revolted, but she damn well fought for you. then she had a second chance and again, stood by you. one day it's not gonna damn well stick and she's gonna declare her independence and you're gonna have lost a loyal colony because you were a bloody moron. "

Arthur's eyes glared at him "don't you damn well talk down to me like some blood child in my own house you git!"

Alistair turned to leave, fishing out another smoke and lighting it "whatcha gonna do about it? not like you can take me. I'm bigger than her."

that night, like always he felt a small shaking body crawl into his bed. he opened his arms and welcomed her close. she clung to him but wasn't crying. he turned his face down to capture her lips. she returned the kiss, but instead of sobbing she melted against him. one of his hands threaded into the soft , loose, golden curls lovingly. she sighed against his lips and pressed closer. they laid there for a while, lost in a mix of soft and hungry kisses, soft and rough hands caressing and holding.

finally they parted and she nuzzled her face into his neck. he was still waiting for the tears that hadn't started "are you okay there lass?"

she nodded from her hiding spot and sighed "I've finally had enough… I'm going to become independant... "

Alistair smiled, but an unwelcomed sadness came with it. she would be safe… but she would be gone. "good on you lass" her squeezed her tighter.

"w-would…" she gulped then pulled back, violet eyes looking down uncertainly, even in the dark the pink flush was visible across her peaches and cream skin. " you'll come visit me, won't you?"

Alistair smiled at her, crinkles around his green eyes showing sincerity "of course Lass. the lochness monster herself couldn't keep me away" he placed a kiss on her nose and she giggled. oh how he'd missed that sound.

they settled back down and got comfortable, slowly he watched her drift into peaceful sleep. one last kiss on her forehead he followed.

he smiled. she was going to find a new life, and she still wanted him in it.


	9. Little toy guns FACE

**enter the FACE family. emotional hurt/comfort and sibling aww's **

**Gillan is female gilbert. **

**song is little toy guns by carrie underwood**

**enjoy**

Violet eyes gazed down at the locket in her hands. she had taken it off her mother's dresser, inside was a picture of a happy family, a father with unruly blonde hair and a sweater vest, his arm around a beautiful blue eyed women, her hair swept up on her head. they were laughing as a boy of about 11 had his smaller sister, she was 6, but small for her age, on his back. both children's faces were mid laugh. it was a flawless happy family… that was 3 years ago now.

The closet door opened a crack, the yelling from down the hall was getting louder in her ears. a sob wracked Madeline's tiny body as she put her hands over her ears. the closet door opened and shut quickly. there were arms around her. without looking she buried her face against her big brothers shirt.

"shhh Maddie.. I'm here, just talk to me okay?"

The screaming from their mother and father echoed through the whole house. she had found this was the quietest place to hide. Her brother, her hero, had not taken long to find her the first time. he always sought her out when they started to fight.

The first big fight they had Madeline had run from the house, she needed to get away from the house, the screaming was scary. Alfred had been the one to realize she was gone. The family had looked all over the house and the yard. then they moved around the neighbourhood.

Madeline had taken shelter in the park under the slide, but it was dark and scary. she wasn't sure which was home was. if she did go back would they still be screaming? then her big brother found her. she had cried and clung to him. her had hoisted her onto his back and took her home. he made her promise if she ever felt like running again, she would come to him.

now in the closet she shook as he held her protectively against him. she sobbed as she spoke

"I wish they would stop fighting! why can't they just stop!"

"I know Maddie.. I'm sorry…"

her voice was smaller " they're fighting over m-m-me… I j-just wanted to g-go to Gillians house for a sleepover…"

Alfreds words, still kind, were firm "this is not your fault Maddie.. they look for things to fight over…"

Madeline dissolved further into crying. she thought back to when they played together as a family. princesses and knights, or super heros, or cowboys… she took a deep shaking breath and sniffled

"I wish words were like your little toy guns Alfie… they don't hurt anyone… it's just a game… just cowboys. they could just stop playing and the noise would stop, the guns get left in the yard and we all go in for lunch… "

"Me too Maddie." Alfred held his sister closer. he wished he could make them see what they were doing to her. He was older, it still hurt him, he still hated it. but it didn't cut him as deeply as it did her. he thought they would understand after she had run away. but they hadn't.

"toy guns huh?" Alfred smiled he had an idea. "come to my room okay? I promise you won't have to keep hearing them."

He stood with his sister and they made a break for his room. he sat her on his bed and went to the stereo. he didn't care if they heard. as long as they didn't have to hear them. he turned the music on and cranked it. you could still heard the muffled voices, but he wasn't done. his sister was on the bed curled in on herself, hands over her ears again, tears running down her already stained face.

He ran to his closet and quickly pulled out a box of his old childhood toys, tossing things haphazardly to the side until he found was he was looking for.

Madeline felt something placed on her head, then her brother grab her wrist pulling it gently from her ear and placed something plastic in her hand. she opened her eyes and looked curiously. a small, toy gun. the kind that made bang sounds, but fired nothing. her brother was smiling as he pointed it "stick 'em up partner!" she smiled looking into his sparkling blue eyes, they were both wearing cowboy hats. the yelling got louder and her smile dropped

"it's okay maddie just like this!" he pulled the trigger aiming at the wall and the bang drowned out the yelling. she tested her own and a look of relief spread over her face.

"you shootin at me little lady?!" Alfred asked loudly in mock offense. she giggled at the hilarious look on his face and fired again. "Oh thats it!" he grabbed his sister and started tickling her. she fire the gun several times trying to get away. between the music, the guns, and the laughter their parents screaming was finally drowned out.


	10. If You're Reading This AmeCan

**this is a follow up to "just a dream" in this series. I cried writing it, so you may cry reading it. I'm gonna go nurse my headache from said crying. enjoy, bring tissues. song: If your reading this- Tim McGraw**

Amelia sat down in the chair across from Francis. he hands shook as she looked at the stained and dirty letter in her hands. terrified to open it, she looked up meeting watery blue eyes of the man in front of her.

It had been six weeks since they had buried Mattie. the letters had been delivered in a box of his things they had found. two envelopes had been found inside a larger one, Francis had opened it and found one addressed to Papa… and he had called Amelia when he found the second one was addressed to 'my love'.

she didn't want to open it. she knew what it was… the larger brown envelope sitting on the table between them had "Just in case" scrawled across it in Matthews perfect writing.

"cheri… he wanted you to read whatever is in there. Give him a chance to say goodbye" how the frenchman kept his voice from breaking was beyond her. tears were already welling in her eyes. she nodded.

Francis had shown her in his letter, Matthew had asked his Papa to sit with her while she read it. he didn't want her to be alone. he knew his Papa would be there for her if he couldn't be…

She shook as she carefully lifted the sealed flap, cringing at the ripping sound. she reached in and took out the piece of paper, carefully unfolding it, she looked up at francis once more. he nodded and reached out a hand, tears sliding down his face. she gripped it and read.

* * *

' Dear Amelia, my love, my heart, my everything… I'm so sorry.

If you're reading this, I'm counting on the fact that Papa is right there with you. if he's not, please don't be alone.. I don't want you to be alone for this, please. if I could, I'd be there to give you one last kiss… I can't stand the thought of you alone right now, so for me okay?

I'm sorry baby, It looks like i only got a one way ticket over here eh? I wish this war hadn't been real, just like one of the video games we use to stay up playing. remember that? you were always kickin' my sorry butt. I'll tell you a secret though, sometimes I'd let you win, just to see that huge, beautiful smile you'd get. '

* * *

Amelia laughed through the tears as she read "oh sure, say that when I can't call you a liar to your face" she sobbed harder, Francis moved to beside her, rubbing her back. she took a shaky breath and blinked tears away enough to continue.

* * *

You don't know how much I wish i could be there right now baby, I'm so sorry. I'm all the way on the other side of the world and you're there alone and I hate it.. If you're reading this, I won't be there to see our baby girl…

* * *

the letter crumpled slightly as one hand tightened around it , her other hand going to the small bump under her dress. they had only found out a few weeks before… they were keeping it a secret until after the wedding. he had insisted it was going to be a little girl. Amelia had simply laughed at him and told him there was no way he could know. he must have only just written this before… she closed her eyes and breathed deeply, trying to compose herself. it was an impossible feat. she turned back to the letter.

* * *

if you're reading this, I won't be there to see our baby girl. Yes, baby girl. I'm sure. I hope she looks just like you my love. every bit as beautiful and vibrant. But I hope she fights like me, I hope she's the kind of girl who will stand up for people who can't. for the innocent and people who are weaker than she is. baby, she's going to be so strong. how could any child of yours not be? I'm so sorry I won't be there for her. Let her know how much daddy loved her okay? let her know I would have done anything to see her grown up.

* * *

"then why did you leave Mattie... " tears fell to the page but she continued.

* * *

And I'm so sorry I'm not going to be there in the room. I wanted to be there for you, believe me when I say there is nothing I want more then to be there right now, holding you, kissing you and making everything okay again.

but baby I want you to remember I'm okay now. I'm in a better place, up here exactly where Papa prayed I would go. Me and god are hanging out and watching over you okay? there's no more guns, or uniforms, or pain up here. I'm not fighting anymore, I'm safe and I'm always going to be with you okay? I'll watch you and our sweet little baby for the rest of your lives, you can talk to me if you're lonely, I can't talk back, but I promise I'll always be listening.

there's a few more things I need to tell you, but baby do one thing for me okay? I know Papa is there with you. could you make sure and tell him again that I don't regret following in his foot steps? If you're reading this, I died fighting for the peace I believed in. I want him to know I didn't feel like he pushed me. I chose this and I stand by it.

Now Amelia… there's one more thing I need to say, and I know you're not going to want to hear it yet, but you have to for me okay? One day you're going to move on. you will, I wish it for you. I want you too. one day, I want you to wake up next to someone who makes you as happy as you made me. I don't want you to be alone and sad. I want you to know I'm okay with it alright? As long as he's a good man who loves you, I'll be happy. I can't be with you from up here anymore, but he can. when he comes along, you give him a chance and you love him as much as I know you love me.

I love you so much Amelia. If your reading this, I'm home, right beside you, and I love you more then anything. I'm safe and everything will be okay eventually, I promise. Give it time baby. I can't write enough times how much I love you. I could fill a book and it wouldn't be enough… so just one more time..

If you're reading this Amelia Williams, I love you, I miss you and I'm sorry.

* * *

Amelia broke down. what her name should have become on the page shattering any shred of composure she had maintained. she fell against Francis sobbing. she felt the man shaking beneath her as he wrapped his arms around her stroking her hair as they both cried.

* * *

3 years later Amelia sat on the same couch, holding onto the squirmy 2 and a half year old girl. She had long golden blonde locks, just like her mother, she was an angel Francis sat beside them holding a photo Album, the three flipped through pictures. Amelia pointed to a picture of Matthew in an army uniform "do you know who that is Madeline?"

large violet eyes that looked for much like her fathers studied the picture. she broke out in a big smile and giggled "daddy!" she exclaimed. a pudgy finger pointing at the plastic covered picture.

"good job ma cherie! very good!" cooed francis, placing a kiss on her cheek.

"and you know" Amelia nuzzled the little girls cheek with her nose "that dada loves you very much. "

"ya mama!" she exclaimed and then she turned to francis "gra-papa, where daddy?"

tears misted over Amelia's eyes as Francis smiled gently "here right here Ma Cherie" he placed a hand over her tiny heart "he's with you always, watching over you"

Amelia looked away trying to stop tears when she felt a hand on her shoulder. she looked up into the warm brown eyes of her new fiance. she smiled at her sadly and placed a kiss on her forehead, hand moving to her face "it's okay emmy, he's watching you too, you know he'd kick your butt for getting sad"

she smiled weakly and nodded, leaning her head into his hand. she looked up at the sky out the window and sent out a silent message 'thank you for the letter Mattie, I love you'.


	11. Walk a little straighter FACES

**Not really canada, but I felt like looking at an Alfred/Arthur dynamic. I listened to the song and instantly I thought of them so...**

**I'm not sure I love how this turned out, but you tell me what you think ^.^**

**and yeah... I suck at writing drunk Arthur.**

**song: Walk a little straighter by Billy Currington**

Francis leaned over to scoop the smaller of the two boys off the couch and into his arms, lifting him with ease. Matthew had fallen asleep, completely spent. But Alfred was still there, his head lolling every once in a while, eyes heavy and tired. "are you sure you want to stay up cher?" He whispered as he stroked Matthews hair rocking him absent mindedly. They had been waiting up for their father to get home for hours, but the boys had insisted they wanted to see him. Francis didn't have the heart to say no, Arthur left for work before they could say good morning half the time. He just hoped his husband would come home in better condition this time

"I wanna wait for daddy! I'm not little like Mattie anymore, I don't need to sleep yet." his words were garbled by wide yawn. He was set on it little face scrunched up in determination as he turned back around on the couch, looking out the window. he could wait! Mattie was only five, Littler kids needed more sleep, but Alfred was eight years old now, he was a big kid!

"Alright mon Ange, but only a half an hour more alright?" Alfred pouted but nodded. he watched his Papa and brother as they went to the stairs and up to their bedroom.

his big blue eyes turned to the window "come on Daddy… come home!" he muttered. twenty minutes later the sound of a car hitting the garbage can woke Alfred up. his eyes flashed up and he smiled "Daddies home!" he exclaimed. Francis gave a tight smile and took off his glasses closing the laptop. Alfred jumped up and ran to the door, smile wide and bright.

Arthur came through the door, and Alfred clung to his arm "Welcome home Daddy!" he said excitedly. Arthur mumbled something along the lines of "'lo lad", his steps were uneven and he swayed as he made his way to the old leather arm chair. "c-can you walk a bit straighter daddy? the way your walking is making me dizzy!" said the young boy and he stumbled again, following his father into the living room.

Arthur plunked down on the chair and closed his eyes with a groan. Alfred scrambled to in front of him, hands on his knees, bouncing as he spoke excitedly. "daddy! Daddy guess what?! Today me and Mattie were playing outside and there was this really mean cat, and it tried to attack him, but I jumped in front and I yelled at it and threw a pine cone near it and scared it away and Mattie called me his hero! I'm a hero daddy! daddy? are you awake? ...dad?"

Francis was at his side, a hand on his golden locks. "daddy's Tired Alfred.. I think he's already asleep. why don't you give him a kiss goodnight and we'll get you to bed. you'll wanna be well rested if your brother needs a hero again tomorrow!"

Alfred frowned for a moment, but then he nodded. he laid a kiss on Arthur's cheek, the man already out cold, and took his Papa's hand . one last look was thrown over his shoulder to look at his father. a disappointed expression crossed his face as his shoulders drooped and trudged up the stairs to finally go to bed.

* * *

Alfred's eyes scanned the seats again. where was he?! his father had promised he'd be here, It was graduation day! He looked to his Papa and younger brother who gave small shakes of their heads and sad smiles, as if to say 'we're sorry, but we're here and proud of you'. His little sister Michelle , only seven years old, was sitting on Francis's lap and she waved excitedly. Alfred forced a smile for her and waved back. He was glad they were here. He loved his Papa and siblings, really, but he had really hoped to see his Dad today.

That's when the door crashed open, half the eyes in the gym went straight to the door and Alfred cringed. Arthur tripped in the doors catching himself on another parent, loudly calling out for his sons. Alfred wished the floor would open and swallow him. He promised he'd come sober… one day! hell one hour! was that too much to ask?!

Alfred watched as Matthew rushed over, grabbing his father's arm and leading him to their seats, apologizing to the people around them. His poor shy little brother's face was burning red, obviously as embarrassed as Alfred at the display. Luckily for him, Matthew and Francis soon had him settled and quiet.

The principal came up to make his speech. Alfred let the excitement run through him. Finally graduating! he had worked so hard, and it had finally come. He was all set, going off to Yale in the fall, he had a part time job to cover his basic needs, He'd come home for holidays and it'd be great. The names started being called. anxiety built as it got closer and closer to Kirkland, closer to his name. He looked over towards his family proudly when they had reach the H's in anticipation of their bright faces only to drop his smile. Francis was having a hushed argument with Arthur again, begging. Michelle had been shifted onto Matthew's lap just in case. he prayed Papa could get him under control this time.

Between one of the J names Alfred cringed as he heard Arthur's slurred words "fine! I don't bloody-well haveta sit here and listen to this!" "Arthur please…" Francis's whispered voice seemed to be amplified as everyone's eyes were now on them, the principal had stopped talking to watch the display. Michelle was crying and Matthew bounced her shushing and burying his face in her pigtails to hide his own tears. "no I don't need your holier than though shit, im leavin'" he stood and stormed out of the doors, stumbling on his way out.

The principal cleared his throat once the door slammed shut, and continued with the names. When Alfred F Kirkland was called, he didn't even smile.

* * *

"Hey Papa, dad we're here!" Alfred called out as he opened the door to his old family home, he hadn't been home in a year now, but he had missed it so much! the smell of Papa's dinner filling the house, the warmth of the decor, the family pictures that lined the walls, It made him smile. Michelle came down the stairs at the sound of his voice, she ran to hug her biggest brother, Alfred laughed and twirled his now twenty year old sister around "hey squirt! when did you get so grown up?!"

"She did that while you were out saving people down in the states doctor Kirkland" came Matthews voice from the kitchen, smiling as he leaned against the wall.

Alfred laughed "I don't know how many lives i'm saving! Mostly runny noises in my office" he chuckled and let go of Michelle turning to his brother with a cheesy smile and his arms held out. Matthew rolled his eyes but walked into the hug regardless. "Missed you little bro!"

"Missed you too Alfie" He gave him a little smile "where's Ivan?"

Alfred smiled and sighed "he's just in the car. his sister called when we pulled up. you know women and how they talk. It'll probably take him till dinner to get in with the way she is!" Shelly smacked his arm and he laughed "haha no offense sis!"

"none of us talk nearly as much as you do Alfred!" She rolled her eyes.

"Alfred?! " called Francis's voice over the siblings laughter "are you gonna stand out there all day or are you going to get into this kitchen and see your Papa? I can't leave the sauce or it will burn!"

Alfred's face spread into a wide smile as he ruffled his siblings hair, earning a pair of glares. he walked into the kitchen and to Francis not hesitating to walk into the extended arm that was not stirring. "mon deiu Alfred! are you taller?!"

Alfred laughed "Maybe you're just gettin' shorter old man!" Alfred ducked as the oven mit smacked him upside the head. "hey hey! no need for violence!"

Francis rolled his eyes smiling. he turned back to the work in front of him. "You're father's in the living room Al.." francis's brows furrowed and he looked like he was concentrating on the sauce a little too hard "You should go and see him. He's been waiting for you to get here." Alfred's smile dimmed a bit, but he nodded.

turning from the kitchen Alfred made his way towards the door to the living room. There he was in his usual arm chair, He looked so much older… "Alfred my boy!" Arthur called as he came into view, It was almost clear. He hadn't had too much yet, It was only five thirty though, so that could change.

"hey dad, good to see you" he said cheerfully as he walked to the chair and knelt beside it. "you been takin care of yourself?"

"course! I always take care of myself Lad!" he laughed, taking another sip of the rum in his glass.

Alfred sighed but he smiled and leaned in to give the Man a hug. At this point, Alfred accepted he was like this, and It was just the way it was. He had spent his time being angry about it. Too long begging him to change. He had finally learned it wasn't going to change, but he was still his dad, and Alfred loved him no matter what.

Dinner was served, everyone gathered around the table laughing and talking, The food was wonderful, Ivan and Matthew chatted about what a pain in the ass doctors were loudly. Ivan was a paramedic and Matthew a neonatal nurse, they both loved to tease alfred about it. Michelle announce she had passed all her pre-law midterms with flying colours earning excited chatter and proud looks. A calm didn't set over the table until dessert was served.

that's when Alfred threw a look to Ivan who shrugged and smiled giving a nod "So, we got a call" announce Alfred, everyone's eyes on him in curiosity, he took a deep breath and beamed at his family "there's a little girl waiting for us in China, we're leaving in two weeks to go and pick her up." The uproar of congratulations came from the table.

Francis was practically crying about becoming a Grandpapa, Michelle was crying "I'm going to be an Auntie!" Arthur raised his glass in a cheers laughing a bit too loudly. Mattie stood and hugged him ruffling his hair "took ya long enough!" the rest of the night was filled with happiness.

when the night finally wound down Matthew was at the door saying his goodbyes as he was headed back to his apartment. Michelle conceded moments later, Claiming she needed to get back to campus tomorrow and had to take off pretty early.

Arthur was pretty bad off by this point. Stumbling and slurring. Alfred sighed and waved his Papa off. "Don't worry bout it, I'll get him up to bed." He put his arm around his father and guided him to the stairs. It was an unsteady walk, but he managed to get the man up the stairs, and peacefully in the bed. He looked down sadly at his father before leaving the room.

* * *

That night he and Ivan laid in the guest bed in his old room, curled up to go to sleep. Alfred furrowed his brow as the thought hit him. "hey Ivan"

"Da Alfred?" Came the reply as arms circled him.

Alfred heaved a sigh and turned his face into his husbands chest, "I'm never going to be like that, I promise. I love my dad, really I do. But I'm never going to let our daughter see me like that."

Ivan's arms tightened and he felt a kiss on the top of his head "I know you won't sunflower. let's go to sleep da?" Alfred merely nodded his head, and closed his eyes falling into a peaceful sleep.


	12. Down usuk ukcan FrUk

**song: Down by Miranda Lambert. Starts with usuk ending. lots of ending relationships here XD **

**in the song it says "met a little boy in baton rouge, his eyes were clear and his heart was true" but since Jackson hole is also in america, I made it the Baton rouge restaurant in Toronto! (there's two apparently)**

Arthur looked at him uncomprehendingly, the words he had just said didn't make any sense at all. surely Alfred must be having a stroke. "I'm sorry what?"

"This just isn't working Artie, It's not working for me anymore. I mean, we really don't have much in common anyway. " Alfred said with a shrug. his voice barely holding an ounce of interest. "It was fun while it lasted though right?" he said giving that lazy half smirk that made Arthur melt.

Now it just made him want to puke. "so we're… over? j-just like that?!" Alfred raised an eyebrow and nodded. Arthur felt a sudden anger at the lack of emotion, a very unusual feeling for him to say the least. "did I even mean anything?!" he stood from his seat, tears prickling embarrassingly at the corner of his eyes,

Alfred's eyebrows shot up as he noticed, "oh hey… Artie, are you okay dude?"

"I assure you I'll be fine" Arthur said icily as he turned from the table and stalked away, if nothing else he could save a little bit of his pride. he would wait until he reached the safety and privacy of his own apartment before he left the tears spill over.

* * *

Alfred had broken him. crushed something inside that had clung to his last shreds of kindness. now all that was left in place of his heart was a black hole.

He had spent the first month moping about, drinking himself half to death. The fact that Alfred had been with him for a year and barely even batted an eye at their split? it was painful sure… but it was also mortifying. He had been dumped firmly on his ass without so much as a choked up "I'm sorry" . Wasn't he worth at least that?! wasn't he good enough for a single ounce of regret?

Yes he was, and he was going to prove it. He was going to prove it as many times as was necessary.

He started off small, a man in the bar who seemed to have little in the way of self worth. Arthur took a drink for courage, and then he charmed him. Chatting avidly, flattering, flirting touches, and eventually taking the man, whose name was Jacob, home with him. He spanned it out over six weeks for the first one, that was all he could take really. Easily wrapping him around his finger, tangling him in his twisted web. phone calls, dates, nights in. He let Jacob cook dinner, in return he cleaned. they cuddled on the couch, kissed under the stars, and moaned into the night.

Then, as he had planned to regardless, Arthur got bored of him. Jacob started to expect things to happen, that little kiss upon meeting, fingers laced together as they walked. Though the nail in the coffin was when he had suggested Arthur meet his friends.

"Look… this has been fun and all, but I really don't think I want to do this anymore." he sipped his tea, looking over the brim at the confusion and pain on Jacob's face. to his horror, though not surprisingly, Arthur enjoyed the look. it was comical in a way, as if someone just pulled the rug out from beneath him. "but it was really nice to meet you" he gave a small smile as he stood, dropping a bill on the table to cover the tab and walking out before Jacob could say a word.

This continued for years, feeding his self esteem in the twisted way. slowly he worked his way up the chain, snaring men with more confidence, better looks, high paying jobs. He would make them dote and fawn, miss him terribly and long for him, then he would cut every one of them loose. Each time he would relish that look of utter shock as he coldly relayed that it was over.

during this time he moved, shifting from Jackson Wyoming up to Toronto Canada. a bigger city, a whole new country to start in… and more men to ensnare. the first year there went smoothly. following his same pattern. Then he met Matthew.

He was in a restaurant on front street when he quite literally bumped into the man. Matthew had apologized profusely, even though it had been Arthur who hadn't been watching. The stuttering boy was trying to dab the wine he had accidentally sloshed all over Arthur's tie, but Arthur wasn't paying it much mind. The gears in his brain already at work, He wanted this boy.

"don't worry about it luv" he said with a smile "but how about, to make it up to me, you let me buy you another glass?" he gave a wink and inwardly hummed at the blush that spread across his face. this was going to be easy.

Matthew was exactly his type. He was tall, but not bulky, a gracefulness to his body. His hair was a rich strawberry blonde and hung in loose waves and curls around his face. Behind black rimmed glasses were a pair of large, clear, innocent eyes that were somewhere between blue and purple. Honestly, when he looked at him Arthur could swear he was almost Alfred's double in every other way.

What had taken Arthur by surprise was his personality. despite the high income job as a doctor, the general well to do family, and his stunning good looks, Matthew retained a shy nature. He was sweet, thoughtful about the smallest things, and honestly kind. Still soft to the world, Matthew was a rare find. Arthur almost felt bad for what he was going to do to him, but at this point, it was unstoppable.

The pair started out much like Arthur's other conquests, in the bedroom. moans and gasps and sighs drowning out anything else. for a shy boy, he certainly had no problem taking charge and making sure Arthur couldn't see straight for at least an hour afterwards.

there had been a sweetness to being with Matthew as well. where as others had made a show of big flashy gestures, Matthew made small ones, but came from a purer place. Breakfasts he would cook for them at two am simply because he wanted Arthur to stay for another hour, the perfect English rose he had taken the trouble to clip on his walk to meet Arthur, a first edition book he had come across while browsing by one of Arthur's favourite authors. yes. he was a sweet boy...

Matthew managed to hold his attention for seven and a half months, the longest run Arthur had since Alfred. by that point the boy was smitten, head over heels in love. Arthur had met his friends, though still managing to dodge the family front. They had spent nights, even weekends at each others apartments. Arthur had a key to Matthew's apartment (though that gesture was not returned)

The day Arthur broke it off, he found it to be a bit harder. He felt bad doing it. Though, no bad feeling could stop the cold front he put up as he tossed the blonde his key across the white cafe table. Matthew held it up in confusion "Why are you giving me this?"

"I'm bored" Arthur said simply

"oh? okay…?" obviously confused by his explanation " Well, we could go catch a movie, or there was this great new-"

"no… you don't understand Matthew, I'm bored of you" it was harsh, yes… but it was the only way Arthur knew anymore.

"w-what do you mean?" Matthew shook his head slowly, those blonde curls bouncing. Arthur felt a tug as his heart. He pushed it back.

"It was obviously never going to last. don't get me wrong, It was fun for a while!" Arthur shrugged as he stood "but I think we've run our course pet" as per usual Arthur turned to leave before Matthew could get a word in edgewise. but then something new happened. Matthew called out after him.

"I said wait! Please Arthur! J-just…" Arthur looked over his shoulder in shock. every pair of eyes in the cafe was on the pair. Arthur who had frozen while reaching for the door, and Matthew who had tears shamelessly flowing out of those innocently broken indigo eyes.

Arthur cleared his throat, cursing the tightness as he cast a sad smile "sorry lad, was only a game"

* * *

Arthur couldn't find it in himself to purposefully play with hearts after that. But he was made painfully aware that it was all he knew. shortly after his split with Matthew, when he wound up bitterly ending a tryst with a man named Kyle. No… he was damaged, he couldn't be with anyone anymore, even if he wanted to.

He was sitting at the bar, drowning his sorrows in a glass of rum when the stool next to him was filled. His eyes flashed up to meet a charming smile. He chuckled bitterly to himself. just his type. He had The same hair as sweet Matthew had, and the same blue eyes as Alfred. He was tall, and slim, and he looked at Arthur as if he was a meal. The exact type of man he would have loved to crush. but…

"you don't wanna sit there. I'm not a good man to be around"

"oh? and why is that mon cher?"

fantastic. french. he straightened up and looked directly into the sky blue eyes, unwavering and said "because, I make men like you fall to their knees, laughing as I turn away." the gaze was not broken either way

"and whose to say you would have the power to break me?" purred the man.

"a list of men much too long I'm afraid" Arthur smirked turning back to his drink and taking a sip.

"I bet you couldn't break me"

"not a bet I'm willing to make "

"if you insist mon ange" sighed the man after a moment. Arthur didn't look over at the sound of scribbling. a number and a name on a piece of paper was placed in front of him "in case you decide you would like to reconsider our wager later on" with that, he left.

Arthur looked down at the paper. Francis huh? He picked it up, staring for a moment before slipping it into his back pocket. just in case.


	13. Girl Crush RusCan onesides RusAme

**I have NO clue why... but from the first time I heard this song, this scenario started playing in my head. It started getting out of hand every time I listened to the radio (yeah i listen to country) and it came on... so i wrote it out lol. RusCan, one-sided RusAme. **

Alfred stood at his locker putting his advanced chem books away with a sigh. The day was over, now he could go home and… do homework… right. It never ended. He was about to close the locker when the fluttering of a scarf caught his eye.

Alfred's heart fluttered right along with it and his head spun, eye focusing on the tall ashen blonde. His breath caught as he watched Ivan walk down the hall. He was Gorgeous… Wide shoulders, a firm build that made the tall golden blonde feel small for once. oh, how he wanted to be able to lean against him, lose himself in the strong arms as he looked up into those beautiful mauve eyes. kiss those soft lips and just lose himself in it… but…

He watched as the smiling teen reached his target, Matthew Williams, Alfred's half brother. It was almost painful to watch as the smaller blonde spun around with his beaming smile and excited eyes. He could feel the hollowness in his stomach watching as Ivan caught his chin gently, tilting Matthews head up and swooping down to catch him in a kiss. He turned away once he saw the sweet red flush come over the boy with a face that was so similar to Alfred's.

He looked into his locker moving things around as he moped. It didn't matter how similar he was to his younger brother, He would never measure up to him in Ivan's eyes. Alfred wished he could… He wanted Matthew's silky blonde waves, those indigo eyes that were so full of that sweet kindness. Matthew was all soft touches, giggles and blushing… He was exactly the type that screamed out to be taken care of. Exactly the kind of guy someone like Ivan would like.

Alfred was pretty well the opposite. He was almost as tall, though not near as bulky, as Ivan. His blonde hair cropped short and straight, lips chapped, hands rough from working outside. He was cocky and loud, not really one to blush... Not really the kind you would expect to see being held like he was something precious. He was more the type you would peg as doing the holding. More of a Hero than a damsel.

Alfred closed his locker and cast another glance. It was like they heard his thoughts, there was Matthew, giggling at something Ivan was whispering in his ear, a bright red blush on his face. Then Matthews' fingers closed around Ivan's collar, pulling him down for another kiss, both smiling as their mouths moved together. he could almost feel Matthew melting into the wall… Alfred's lip went between his teeth.

there had been nights when his brother came home, kissing Ivan goodnight at the door, where Alfred had been hit with the urge to grab Matthew and kiss him. Not because he really wanted to kiss his brother, but more because he knew they would taste like Ivan…

He turned away from the scene walking away. He couldn't watch anymore, It only brought up images in his head he'd rather not consider. Matthew writhing under Ivan, moaning as the larger teen ran his hands all over his brothers soft skin… He hated it, hated it because it hurt.

He had tried… He had tried so hard to be happy for Matthew, just to forget Ivan and move on. It wasn't working. Ivan's face was in his mind all the time and now, well now he couldn't even sit at the dinner table without jealousy and envy coursing through him…

He stopped at the car leaning against it and waited. No more than five minutes passed when Matthew called to him "I'll be right there Alfred!" Alfred looked up and smiled with a nod, dying a little inside as he watched Matthew kiss Ivan one last time, giggling and smacking him softly when Ivan grabbed his ass. "Behave! I'll see you tomorrow" Matthew jogged across the parking lot and they piled into the car.

Alfred wasn't paying attention, lost in an image of Alfred being the one getting his ass grabbed when a pair of fingers snapped in front of his face "Earth to Alfred? you still here?" Alfred shook his head to clear his thought and looked over with a chuckle.

"Yeah sorry dude, just checked out for a minute"

"Everything alright?" Matthew frowned.

"yup," He said, smiling over everything he'd rather say "All good broski! Let's get home, I got a ton of homework" Matthew looked at him, eyes critical and concerned but gave a tired smile finally and nodded.

"Alright, if you say so, But if anything is wrong Alfie, you can talk to me okay?" Alfred smiled and nodded, ruffling his brother's hair laughing at the scowl it earned, the one that couldn't scare a baby bunny. Maybe if he could hate Matthew it would be easier, but he loved his brother… So it didn't matter how much it hurt, how lost his heart was to Matthew's boyfriend, There was nothing he could or would do about it. He was just stuck dealing with this crush.


End file.
